Vet APP Community of Practice role play discussion
So, where should we start? (S) Harmoni and Trey-if you watch the video I attached you can hear at the end, medical psychologist and pshychiatrist viewpoints on the energy freedom therapy. It may provide you with the dialogue that you need :) Debbie
--> For medical evaluation: Look at the frequency in which a veteran is signing onto the application and at the rate they are posting. We can also look at the number of responses a post receives and how many have read the blog (lurkers).
Veteran #1
May 13, 2012
I served in the Army for seventeen years,two tours in Iraq, serving both as a squad leader and platoon sergenat and was medically discharged as a Staff Sergeant after I was diagnosed with PTSD and could not function in my position anymore.When I got back from my second Iraq deployment I went through my third divorce. I have two children that are almost grown who I don't get to see very often. I have continuous nightmares nightmares of burnt bodies in a ditch in that was right outside of out combat outpost in my second tour of Iraq. In these dreams the burnt bodies are talking to me and to this day the smell lingers in my mind causing me to vomit. I don’t sleep for fear of dreaming and sometimes when I do fall to sleep; my final thought is will I wake in the morning or will all this finally be over.
After my medical discharge in 2006, I returned to West Virginia to find that my now ex-wife had become a drig addict, addicted to crack. . I had no home, car, or anything to call mine. Friends tried to help but unfortunately my pride would not allow for that. I decided to use my GI Bill beneifts and while attending my first semester at Marshall University, I did not have enough money for an apartment, so I slept on benches for two months until I saved enough money to secure an apartment.
---John Smith (Debbie)
May 14 ,2012
Hey John,
I was in Special Forces, and before that was in an Army Ranger Battalion (2nd Battalion at FT. Lewis) as a sniper. I have four deployment two in Iraq and two in Afghanistan. I have known for years that I looked at the world different after coming back from combat. I did not know how to deal with the nightmares, flashbacks, etc. until I met Tapas Fleming who was a VA counselor. Using her very simple steps, I have changed from being an emotionally cut off soldier, father and husband. I 'had' several incidents that caused these reactions, all were related to the combat I saw over all the years I was active. I joined a workshop that was being held in Columbus, Ga. right outside the gates of Fort Benning GA to prove that this technique that Tapas developed would not work. After the first session I did, I could not believe how different I felt. I no longer felt the guilt that I had lived with all these years. I have worked on a different memory every night for 4 days now and have not had a recurrence of anything I have worked on with Tapas. I finally have been able to sleep at night without waking up in combat. I can still recall the memories of all the firefights I was in, , just without all the guilt, shame and fear. I finally have my life back and can become the father, son and husband that I once was. The future is looking great right now. —Staff Sergeant Brian Davis (Debbie)
May 17, 2012
John,
HAve you hear do Team Red, WHite, and Blue? They are a great organization that focuses on veteran reintegration at community level. They would be perfect for you. There is a chapter in WV. Check out their website at www.teamrwb.org
I got involved with one of their workout groups after going out to dinner with some of the RWBer's in my area. They invited me to workout with them. I went and had a great time. There were several veterans and non-veteran community members. I really felt like I was part of the group. It felt great to workout again. I am getting back to the same level of fitness I was at while I was in the Army. It feels AWESOME to be back in shape. You need to check out Team RWB!
Jon S ( Jonathan)
May 19, 2012
John,
I was in the same spot you were in 7 years ago. I had a 4-inch stack of medical records held together by a file folder sitting on my kitchen table. Each piece of paper details a visit to the emergency room, and each one showed the same problem - rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath. Panic. In August 2003, I watched a Humvee roll over and crush the gunner after we were engaged by anti-colaiiton forces. He didn't make it. At first, I pushed the grisly image t the back of my mind, hoping to keep it away for good. But soon after, I began to notice other problems; a loud noise, a plane ride or a simple change in routine would throw me int a panic. I di snot go to mental health to talk about the experience. I tried alternate methods. Anti-depressants and self-help CD's offered some relief, but the panic attacks continued. After 7 years of suffering from panic attacks I finally tried an alternative therapy called the emotional freedom technique (EFT).
I am now able to think about the traumatic event but no longer feels the stress and fear the memory once triggered. If you want more details you can PM me. If you are ready to give it a try contact Deb Tribbey at 707-237-6951. Hang in there soldier..
----LTC Paul Jones (Debbie)
May 22, 2012
Team,
As a testimonial to how effective EFT has been in allowing me to have my life back view the attached video to see how EFT works. I have sent the following letter to congress in hopes that my fellow brother and sister warriors can get their life back too. Let's spread the word. Share this video with as many vets if you like the approach.
September 13,2Ol0
House Committee on Veterans' Affairs
335 Cannon House Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20515
Dear Congressmen and Committee Members:
I regret I am not able to be with you today to discuss how EFT has completely changed my life and has given me the most healing tool of all. I am able to fully live my life with so much abundance, clarity and purpose. I am not present on this historic occasion due to finally having a set routine in my new found career and responsibilities of being a new father and supporting husband. I love my country, and my-fellow veterans, but I think our country owes our veterans more than just a thank you; we owe them their freedom that they have fought for in combat, and are still fighting for through their long drawn out PTSD in their everyday civilian lives. The answer is EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique! This technique has worked for me as well as fellow Marines that I have served with. Maybe our answer has really been easier to find than we ever thought possible, and much, much cheaper. It has always been at the tips of our fingers. Please give this amazing and wonderful gift of freedom to our veterans; I think we have earned it.
Thank you for the opportunity to let my words be heard.
Semper Fidelis,
Henry Carlin Sloan III
(Debbie)
May 14, 2012
John,
I deployed to Iraq with 2-14 INF BN, 2nd BCT, 10th Mountain DIvision. We were in Baghdad March 2006 – June 2007 and were extended for the "surge". I performed a variety of jobs including guard, medical lab, medic, and pharmacy work. My experience was a typical mosaic of long days, stress, and a variety of emotionally charged events. In short, I was exposed to the following experiences (some face-to-face and others indirectly through the exepreinces of my soldiers): IED explosions, small arms fire, rocket attacks, sniper attacks, wounded and dead from our company and battalion, other coalition forces, and Iraqis (military, enemy, and civilians – including women and children.), mass casualty, suicide bombers, smell and sights of bloody, decomposing, and burnt tissues, booby traps, destroyed vehicles, and a persistent fear of being attacked.
Upon my return from deployment, I began my first year of medical school at the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences (USU). Even though I completed the first academic year with good grades, I noticed that my quality of life had diminished significantly. I recognized that I was no longer able to be present in the moment and was always observing whatever was happening in my life from a “witness” perspective. I also replayed many situations in my mind, often thinking of how I could have done them differently. I no longer laughed much and felt burdened by my experience, reminiscing my days when ignorance was bliss.
A year went by and I had spoken about my experiences to a variety of people in attempts to “release” them or find peace from their recurrent nature. Talking about the experiences helped me a bit, but only on an intellectual level. I understood that what I was feeling was “a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.” I knew that I had done my best and was a force of good in this world. But I also knew that my symptoms persisted even after talking about them. Otherwise I was doing “fine” and identified my symptoms to as recurring emotions that were independent of my intellect. They were in a way unreachable, no matter how I tried to resolve or release them. I concluded that this was the price I had to pay and continued to live my unrewarding life to the best of my ability.
About a month ago I had a powerful experience. I met an old acquaintance who knew me before I deployed to Iraq. Nancy asked if I was open to letting her try something called EFT to help me gain freedom from my recurring emotions. She said it was an “emotional” tool and not a mental one. I agreed and we spent a total of four hours doing the work over two days. The results were immediate and I literally “fell back” into my body from a defensive posture that I had unknowingly created in my mind. I could feel my body again and could not stop crying and laughing. I could now be present in the moment and not have half of my attention observing the situation as it was happening. I also became less reactive to whistle sounds and sirens that used to initiate in me a flight or flight response, as incoming rockets had done in Iraq. Overall, I regained the quality of life that I had prior to deployment.
It was truly an “emotional freedom technique.” Since then, I have been on a constant upward spiral and have been able to transform my past into a great strength. We worked through every single memory and emotion that I was not in peace with and “tapped them out.” I also learned how to “self-administer” EFT and have been practicing it on myself whenever something new has emerged from my past.
----Olli Toukolehto, (Debbie)
=
Veteran #2
MAY10, 2012
i have been stuck in my house for a week now. something about outside of my house makes me freak out. been having problems sleeping. i want to sleep all the time to dull reality but when i sleep i dream and sometimes that is worse. i really dont know what to do. i went on the va website and applied for medical but it takes forever. i have no meds or help. i dont know what to do. please help me guys.-AlexH (Shawntel)
MAY 13, 2012
Hey Alex,
Do you have any or family nearby that can come over? They can take you into the VA facility near you or you can go to a non- VA facility for emergency care ( just make sure you file claim immediately with the MEDVAMC Transfer Center). Going in for care will get you the meds you need to be able to sleep normally, and having a friend or family member with you will might make you feel more secure. Don't isolate yourself more, reach out to those close to you.
When I first came home from Iraq and was diagnosed, I used to lock myself away in my house. I even took off early one day from the PTSD course so I could pull down the blinds, lock all the doors and windows and turn the AC on.
I used to self medicate on alcohol and other substances. I used to want days to just go by and hated going anywhere.
There is a name for that. It's called depression.
Depression is that black hole you go into and don't want to come out of.
Keep looking for the light mate and go see someone. Go see an MD a social worker anything. Call the crisis hotline, or go to a vet center somewhere.
What state do you live in? I am in Australia, I moved her after I got out, but other guys on here might be able to direct you to your nearest.
Keep your chin up mate, it does get better. -Jimmy (shawntel)
MAY15, 2012
Hi Alex, knowing there is a problem is the start to getting help. OK the VA gets a rough ride on here at times from all the US guys but they are there to help. the website is a start but get your ass down to them, the longer you leave it the harder it is to deal with. DId you see Jimmy's comment on getting a friend or family member to go with you? He gave you some god advice. You can recover from this but it starts with YOU!!! Staying isolated will not fix this.
Have a look at groups in your area, just being with like minded people who had similar experiences helps as well. But if you are still serving go see your doc.
You have started on the long hard road to coping, its a rough road, and by christ it is long, but you found us here, and we are all on the road with you brother.
Hang in there-Angelsache (shawntel)
MAY 16, 2012
I called the VA. Waiting. I want to go out but can't make myself go far. How in the world do I deal with depression on my own? -AlexH (Shawntel)
MAY 16, 2012
Alex,
Sounds like you are pretty isolated. Waiting on the VA can take a while. You gotta be proactive and take charge of yourself. There is an Army of agencies and organizations out there ready to help you but you have to take the first step.
Have you heard of Team, Red, White, and Blue? www.teamrwb.org They are an veterans support organization that focuses on veteran reintegration at community level. Sounds like you could use some support format he local community. Do you have any friends or family members where you are? I see a couple of other people asked you if you had friends or family in the area.
Anyway, Team RWB has several approaches to Veteran reintegration, one is through physical fitness events and groups at community level. The other is through the advocacy program, kind of like a Big Brother/Big SIster program. Community members, either veterans or non-veterans, but who are passionate about helping out veterans, will spend some time with you whether it be for coffee, a movie, or going out to dinner. They are someone to talk to. It is a great program, it helped me reintegrate back into the community. I think as Veterans we need to reintegrate with society, and we can't expect society to reintegrate with us. You should give them call, I think the advocacy programs perfect for you right now. Once you are back on your feet you can get involved with a physical fitness group and get back in shape like when you were in the service.
Jon S (Jonathan)
MAY 18, 2012
Best support network IMO is family, friends, and soldiers you know. Those men who've been there in and shared the same experiences as you.
Get into the VA, set things up both medical and mental. It might take awhile to get you in and if shit gets too bad there are a lot of numbers you can call or just physically show up to the VA to see someone. Just keep in mind the VA is like the military, "Hurry up and wait."
militaryonesource.com is a great resource and they also have a toll free number: 800 342 9647 . They also have several counseling options available as well.
Keep your head up.-Combatgoldfish (shawntel)
MAY 21, 2012
I still have no response from medical....I had been using alcohol to help me sleep and to help me cope when I go out. Then I had a scare while driving, almost ran a red light and would have hit a kid on a bike. I just pulled over and shook and shook. I couldn't get ahold of myself. I went to a parking lot, parked, and took a walk for about 3 hours. I swore I'd get ahold of myself. But, I still don't know how.-AlexH (shawntel)
MAY 22, 2012
HEY! DId you ever get a hold of friends or family???? You are headed in the wrong direction here. You can turn yourself around but it STARTS WITH YOU! Have you called the VA Crisis Hotline yet? Call 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1. That will get some movement going.
Don't go through this alone! If anything come here and vent, ask questions, seek the truth from those who know.
And above all, know that it does get better. It takes time and work but it will get better.
Sarg (Shawntel)
MAY 25, 2012
Still having trouble sleeping but am not drinking. I just feel freaked out all the time. I want peace in my mind. I feel like I will never have that again.-AlexH (Shawntel)
MAY 27, 2012
WHen I first got, about 4 months after I got back from Iraq ( I don't think I was readjusted yet) out a bed was far to soft. I slept on the floor. with a rifle next to me and a pistol in my hand. I didnt feel safe. I had a bug out bag packed and ready to scoot out the door with. Loaded weapons in every room. Still didnt feel safe. I got rid of my guns due to my suicidal urges and past violence. Depression is part of it. You do need to get some help and talk it out. Try to get sleep and stay off drugs and booze. Find someone to go hang out with if you can. Or maybe just go for a walk at night if nothing else.-Red (Shawntel)
JUNE 1, 2012
I'm still here. Not any worse. That must count for something, right? I'm still struggling in my head, and feel so alone, though. Still no drinking. Sleeping nights for 4 hours or so. The dreams are still there but not every night, but I still fear them. I never know when they will come. I have an appointment at the VA in a month...and month. What am I going to do with all I am feeling for a month? -AlexH (Shawntel)
June 1, 2012
Alex,
Did you see my post on the 16th about Team RWB? If you did, were you able in touch with them? If not, what is preventing you? I think you need to get off the couch and outside and get involved. That did wonders for me. I was shocked to find out how much the community cares about Veterans. One problem is the community members do not always know ho two interact with vets. THe only way they find out we are regular people is by hanging out with us. You just need to take th next step and get out there. Let me know if I can help.
Jon S ( Jonathan)
June 1, 2012
Alex,
I just got done reading through your posts. Looks like you are making some progress. Glad you stopped drinking I saw someone mention getting involved with the community. I think that is a great idea. Get back out and there and be abnormal person. The first step in that journey is to reintegrate back into society. I know this can be challenging, I went though it myself. We are the 1%, the rest of the other 99% have not served in this war. BUt we need to get out there and share our story, let the 99% know what we are doing. So I think you should get out there and find a local VA group or other veterans group and get to know some fellow vets and community members.
Eric (Jonathan)
JUNE 2, 2012
Hi Alex, I read your post again tonight. I am going to send you a PM with my phone number. I have no idea where you live in this world. But call me if you want to. I have no idea what help I can provide but if you live in the United States I have been through the whole VA system and kinda know my way around. I will help any way I can.
Anyone who can stand up an say "please help me" has got my attention.
Billy (Shawntel)
June 4, 2012
It's amazing what a little support from people who understand and talking to a person on the phone who has been where I am, can do for my attitude. Thank you all, and Billy, you really have made a difference for me. I feel like things are not so dark these past few days. I am going to keep on doing the things everyone suggested that has helped me find a way to wake up each day, go out of my house, and start thinking about tomorrow without fear and dread.
Alex (shawntel)
So, where should we start? (S)
Harmoni and Trey-if you watch the video I attached you can hear at the end, medical psychologist and pshychiatrist viewpoints on the energy freedom therapy. It may provide you with the dialogue that you need :) Debbie
--> For medical evaluation: Look at the frequency in which a veteran is signing onto the application and at the rate they are posting. We can also look at the number of responses a post receives and how many have read the blog (lurkers).
Veteran #1
May 13, 2012
I served in the Army for seventeen years,two tours in Iraq, serving both as a squad leader and platoon sergenat and was medically discharged as a Staff Sergeant after I was diagnosed with PTSD and could not function in my position anymore.When I got back from my second Iraq deployment I went through my third divorce. I have two children that are almost grown who I don't get to see very often. I have continuous nightmares nightmares of burnt bodies in a ditch in that was right outside of out combat outpost in my second tour of Iraq. In these dreams the burnt bodies are talking to me and to this day the smell lingers in my mind causing me to vomit. I don’t sleep for fear of dreaming and sometimes when I do fall to sleep; my final thought is will I wake in the morning or will all this finally be over.
After my medical discharge in 2006, I returned to West Virginia to find that my now ex-wife had become a drig addict, addicted to crack. . I had no home, car, or anything to call mine. Friends tried to help but unfortunately my pride would not allow for that. I decided to use my GI Bill beneifts and while attending my first semester at Marshall University, I did not have enough money for an apartment, so I slept on benches for two months until I saved enough money to secure an apartment.
---John Smith (Debbie)
May 14 ,2012
Hey John,
I was in Special Forces, and before that was in an Army Ranger Battalion (2nd Battalion at FT. Lewis) as a sniper. I have four deployment two in Iraq and two in Afghanistan. I have known for years that I looked at the world different after coming back from combat. I did not know how to deal with the nightmares, flashbacks, etc. until I met Tapas Fleming who was a VA counselor. Using her very simple steps, I have changed from being an emotionally cut off soldier, father and husband. I 'had' several incidents that caused these reactions, all were related to the combat I saw over all the years I was active. I joined a workshop that was being held in Columbus, Ga. right outside the gates of Fort Benning GA to prove that this technique that Tapas developed would not work. After the first session I did, I could not believe how different I felt. I no longer felt the guilt that I had lived with all these years. I have worked on a different memory every night for 4 days now and have not had a recurrence of anything I have worked on with Tapas. I finally have been able to sleep at night without waking up in combat. I can still recall the memories of all the firefights I was in, , just without all the guilt, shame and fear. I finally have my life back and can become the father, son and husband that I once was. The future is looking great right now.
—Staff Sergeant Brian Davis (Debbie)
May 17, 2012
John,
HAve you hear do Team Red, WHite, and Blue? They are a great organization that focuses on veteran reintegration at community level. They would be perfect for you. There is a chapter in WV. Check out their website at www.teamrwb.org
I got involved with one of their workout groups after going out to dinner with some of the RWBer's in my area. They invited me to workout with them. I went and had a great time. There were several veterans and non-veteran community members. I really felt like I was part of the group. It felt great to workout again. I am getting back to the same level of fitness I was at while I was in the Army. It feels AWESOME to be back in shape. You need to check out Team RWB!
Jon S ( Jonathan)
May 19, 2012
John,
I was in the same spot you were in 7 years ago. I had a 4-inch stack of medical records held together by a file folder sitting on my kitchen table. Each piece of paper details a visit to the emergency room, and each one showed the same problem - rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath. Panic. In August 2003, I watched a Humvee roll over and crush the gunner after we were engaged by anti-colaiiton forces. He didn't make it. At first, I pushed the grisly image t the back of my mind, hoping to keep it away for good. But soon after, I began to notice other problems; a loud noise, a plane ride or a simple change in routine would throw me int a panic. I di snot go to mental health to talk about the experience. I tried alternate methods. Anti-depressants and self-help CD's offered some relief, but the panic attacks continued. After 7 years of suffering from panic attacks I finally tried an alternative therapy called the emotional freedom technique (EFT).
I am now able to think about the traumatic event but no longer feels the stress and fear the memory once triggered. If you want more details you can PM me. If you are ready to give it a try contact Deb Tribbey at 707-237-6951. Hang in there soldier..
----LTC Paul Jones (Debbie)
May 22, 2012
Team,
As a testimonial to how effective EFT has been in allowing me to have my life back view the attached video to see how EFT works. I have sent the following letter to congress in hopes that my fellow brother and sister warriors can get their life back too. Let's spread the word. Share this video with as many vets if you like the approach.
Watch EFT Video
http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=6887426238803490578&hl=en&fs=true&autoplay=1
September 13,2Ol0
House Committee on Veterans' Affairs
335 Cannon House Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20515
Dear Congressmen and Committee Members:
I regret I am not able to be with you today to discuss how EFT has completely changed my life and has given me the most healing tool of all. I am able to fully live my life with so much abundance, clarity and purpose. I am not present on this historic occasion due to finally having a set routine in my new found career and responsibilities of being a new father and supporting husband. I love my country, and my-fellow veterans, but I think our country owes our veterans more than just a thank you; we owe them their freedom that they have fought for in combat, and are still fighting for through their long drawn out PTSD in their everyday civilian lives. The answer is EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique! This technique has worked for me as well as fellow Marines that I have served with. Maybe our answer has really been easier to find than we ever thought possible, and much, much cheaper. It has always been at the tips of our fingers. Please give this amazing and wonderful gift of freedom to our veterans; I think we have earned it.
Thank you for the opportunity to let my words be heard.
Semper Fidelis,
Henry Carlin Sloan III
(Debbie)
May 14, 2012
John,
I deployed to Iraq with 2-14 INF BN, 2nd BCT, 10th Mountain DIvision. We were in Baghdad March 2006 – June 2007 and were extended for the "surge". I performed a variety of jobs including guard, medical lab, medic, and pharmacy work. My experience was a typical mosaic of long days, stress, and a variety of emotionally charged events. In short, I was exposed to the following experiences (some face-to-face and others indirectly through the exepreinces of my soldiers): IED explosions, small arms fire, rocket attacks, sniper attacks, wounded and dead from our company and battalion, other coalition forces, and Iraqis (military, enemy, and civilians – including women and children.), mass casualty, suicide bombers, smell and sights of bloody, decomposing, and burnt tissues, booby traps, destroyed vehicles, and a persistent fear of being attacked.
Upon my return from deployment, I began my first year of medical school at the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences (USU). Even though I completed the first academic year with good grades, I noticed that my quality of life had diminished significantly. I recognized that I was no longer able to be present in the moment and was always observing whatever was happening in my life from a “witness” perspective. I also replayed many situations in my mind, often thinking of how I could have done them differently. I no longer laughed much and felt burdened by my experience, reminiscing my days when ignorance was bliss.
A year went by and I had spoken about my experiences to a variety of people in attempts to “release” them or find peace from their recurrent nature. Talking about the experiences helped me a bit, but only on an intellectual level. I understood that what I was feeling was “a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.” I knew that I had done my best and was a force of good in this world. But I also knew that my symptoms persisted even after talking about them. Otherwise I was doing “fine” and identified my symptoms to as recurring emotions that were independent of my intellect. They were in a way unreachable, no matter how I tried to resolve or release them. I concluded that this was the price I had to pay and continued to live my unrewarding life to the best of my ability.
About a month ago I had a powerful experience. I met an old acquaintance who knew me before I deployed to Iraq. Nancy asked if I was open to letting her try something called EFT to help me gain freedom from my recurring emotions. She said it was an “emotional” tool and not a mental one. I agreed and we spent a total of four hours doing the work over two days. The results were immediate and I literally “fell back” into my body from a defensive posture that I had unknowingly created in my mind. I could feel my body again and could not stop crying and laughing. I could now be present in the moment and not have half of my attention observing the situation as it was happening. I also became less reactive to whistle sounds and sirens that used to initiate in me a flight or flight response, as incoming rockets had done in Iraq. Overall, I regained the quality of life that I had prior to deployment.
It was truly an “emotional freedom technique.” Since then, I have been on a constant upward spiral and have been able to transform my past into a great strength. We worked through every single memory and emotion that I was not in peace with and “tapped them out.” I also learned how to “self-administer” EFT and have been practicing it on myself whenever something new has emerged from my past.
----Olli Toukolehto, (Debbie)
=
Veteran #2MAY10, 2012
i have been stuck in my house for a week now. something about outside of my house makes me freak out. been having problems sleeping. i want to sleep all the time to dull reality but when i sleep i dream and sometimes that is worse. i really dont know what to do. i went on the va website and applied for medical but it takes forever. i have no meds or help. i dont know what to do. please help me guys.-AlexH (Shawntel)
MAY 13, 2012
Hey Alex,
Do you have any or family nearby that can come over? They can take you into the VA facility near you or you can go to a non- VA facility for emergency care ( just make sure you file claim immediately with the MEDVAMC Transfer Center). Going in for care will get you the meds you need to be able to sleep normally, and having a friend or family member with you will might make you feel more secure. Don't isolate yourself more, reach out to those close to you.
When I first came home from Iraq and was diagnosed, I used to lock myself away in my house. I even took off early one day from the PTSD course so I could pull down the blinds, lock all the doors and windows and turn the AC on.
I used to self medicate on alcohol and other substances. I used to want days to just go by and hated going anywhere.
There is a name for that. It's called depression.
Depression is that black hole you go into and don't want to come out of.
Keep looking for the light mate and go see someone. Go see an MD a social worker anything. Call the crisis hotline, or go to a vet center somewhere.
What state do you live in? I am in Australia, I moved her after I got out, but other guys on here might be able to direct you to your nearest.
Keep your chin up mate, it does get better. -Jimmy (shawntel)
MAY15, 2012
Hi Alex, knowing there is a problem is the start to getting help. OK the VA gets a rough ride on here at times from all the US guys but they are there to help. the website is a start but get your ass down to them, the longer you leave it the harder it is to deal with. DId you see Jimmy's comment on getting a friend or family member to go with you? He gave you some god advice. You can recover from this but it starts with YOU!!! Staying isolated will not fix this.
Have a look at groups in your area, just being with like minded people who had similar experiences helps as well. But if you are still serving go see your doc.
You have started on the long hard road to coping, its a rough road, and by christ it is long, but you found us here, and we are all on the road with you brother.
Hang in there-Angelsache (shawntel)
MAY 16, 2012
I called the VA. Waiting. I want to go out but can't make myself go far. How in the world do I deal with depression on my own? -AlexH (Shawntel)
MAY 16, 2012
Alex,
Sounds like you are pretty isolated. Waiting on the VA can take a while. You gotta be proactive and take charge of yourself. There is an Army of agencies and organizations out there ready to help you but you have to take the first step.
Have you heard of Team, Red, White, and Blue? www.teamrwb.org They are an veterans support organization that focuses on veteran reintegration at community level. Sounds like you could use some support format he local community. Do you have any friends or family members where you are? I see a couple of other people asked you if you had friends or family in the area.
Anyway, Team RWB has several approaches to Veteran reintegration, one is through physical fitness events and groups at community level. The other is through the advocacy program, kind of like a Big Brother/Big SIster program. Community members, either veterans or non-veterans, but who are passionate about helping out veterans, will spend some time with you whether it be for coffee, a movie, or going out to dinner. They are someone to talk to. It is a great program, it helped me reintegrate back into the community. I think as Veterans we need to reintegrate with society, and we can't expect society to reintegrate with us. You should give them call, I think the advocacy programs perfect for you right now. Once you are back on your feet you can get involved with a physical fitness group and get back in shape like when you were in the service.
Jon S (Jonathan)
MAY 18, 2012
Best support network IMO is family, friends, and soldiers you know. Those men who've been there in and shared the same experiences as you.
Get into the VA, set things up both medical and mental. It might take awhile to get you in and if shit gets too bad there are a lot of numbers you can call or just physically show up to the VA to see someone. Just keep in mind the VA is like the military, "Hurry up and wait."
militaryonesource.com is a great resource and they also have a toll free number: 800 342 9647 . They also have several counseling options available as well.
Keep your head up.-Combatgoldfish (shawntel)
MAY 21, 2012
I still have no response from medical....I had been using alcohol to help me sleep and to help me cope when I go out. Then I had a scare while driving, almost ran a red light and would have hit a kid on a bike. I just pulled over and shook and shook. I couldn't get ahold of myself. I went to a parking lot, parked, and took a walk for about 3 hours. I swore I'd get ahold of myself. But, I still don't know how.-AlexH (shawntel)
MAY 22, 2012
HEY! DId you ever get a hold of friends or family???? You are headed in the wrong direction here. You can turn yourself around but it STARTS WITH YOU! Have you called the VA Crisis Hotline yet? Call 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1. That will get some movement going.
Don't go through this alone! If anything come here and vent, ask questions, seek the truth from those who know.
And above all, know that it does get better. It takes time and work but it will get better.
Sarg (Shawntel)
MAY 25, 2012
Still having trouble sleeping but am not drinking. I just feel freaked out all the time. I want peace in my mind. I feel like I will never have that again.-AlexH (Shawntel)
MAY 27, 2012
WHen I first got, about 4 months after I got back from Iraq ( I don't think I was readjusted yet) out a bed was far to soft. I slept on the floor. with a rifle next to me and a pistol in my hand. I didnt feel safe. I had a bug out bag packed and ready to scoot out the door with. Loaded weapons in every room. Still didnt feel safe. I got rid of my guns due to my suicidal urges and past violence. Depression is part of it. You do need to get some help and talk it out. Try to get sleep and stay off drugs and booze. Find someone to go hang out with if you can. Or maybe just go for a walk at night if nothing else.-Red (Shawntel)
JUNE 1, 2012
I'm still here. Not any worse. That must count for something, right? I'm still struggling in my head, and feel so alone, though. Still no drinking. Sleeping nights for 4 hours or so. The dreams are still there but not every night, but I still fear them. I never know when they will come. I have an appointment at the VA in a month...and month. What am I going to do with all I am feeling for a month? -AlexH (Shawntel)
June 1, 2012
Alex,
Did you see my post on the 16th about Team RWB? If you did, were you able in touch with them? If not, what is preventing you? I think you need to get off the couch and outside and get involved. That did wonders for me. I was shocked to find out how much the community cares about Veterans. One problem is the community members do not always know ho two interact with vets. THe only way they find out we are regular people is by hanging out with us. You just need to take th next step and get out there. Let me know if I can help.
Jon S ( Jonathan)
June 1, 2012
Alex,
I just got done reading through your posts. Looks like you are making some progress. Glad you stopped drinking I saw someone mention getting involved with the community. I think that is a great idea. Get back out and there and be abnormal person. The first step in that journey is to reintegrate back into society. I know this can be challenging, I went though it myself. We are the 1%, the rest of the other 99% have not served in this war. BUt we need to get out there and share our story, let the 99% know what we are doing. So I think you should get out there and find a local VA group or other veterans group and get to know some fellow vets and community members.
Eric (Jonathan)
JUNE 2, 2012
Hi Alex, I read your post again tonight. I am going to send you a PM with my phone number. I have no idea where you live in this world. But call me if you want to. I have no idea what help I can provide but if you live in the United States I have been through the whole VA system and kinda know my way around. I will help any way I can.
Anyone who can stand up an say "please help me" has got my attention.
Billy (Shawntel)
June 4, 2012
It's amazing what a little support from people who understand and talking to a person on the phone who has been where I am, can do for my attitude. Thank you all, and Billy, you really have made a difference for me. I feel like things are not so dark these past few days. I am going to keep on doing the things everyone suggested that has helped me find a way to wake up each day, go out of my house, and start thinking about tomorrow without fear and dread.
Alex (shawntel)